How Did We Get Here?

Thanks in advance for indulging me here as I ramble on about the topic I introduced you to in the title of my column: “How Did We Get Here?”

To find out how I must hop in a time machine and go back to a simpler, much more mundane existence void of children.

While it seems like a lifetime ago, I have to remind myself that there was once a time when I was married without children.

During those early years of marriage it was my wife, me, and a cat named Presley.

Not too long afterward, we took in another cat named Miracle.

Even on the busiest of days life seemed relatively quiet and boring for the most part.

Evenings at home consisted of gently purring cats, watching the game show channel and relaxing on a couch where the only people we took care of were ourselves and very easy to deal with cats.

Of course the topic of children came up both before and after we said our “I do’s.”

My parents knew we intended on having children, while my wife’s parents also knew this as well.

My parents did not seem to be in much of a hurry to become grandparents, while my wife’s parents were all too ready for a grand baby.

As we traversed through those early years of marriage we did what all prospective parents do.

Oh yes, you probably know where I am heading with this one because I think it is a common thing that happens.

What I am talking about is how non-parents like to judge actual parents.

Whether in church, when you go out to eat or shop at a store.

No matter where we are, here we are as non-parents telling our significant other about all our great ideas on how we’d get a child to behave or how we’d handle an uncomfortable situation differently.

One of the funniest things I used to witness as a non-parent was how I would shake my head when an adult told a child – no or stop it!

These universal expressions never seem to get most of us anywhere, but it doesn’t stop us from using them constantly.

 I remember thinking to myself why do parents use these words with no follow through.

It’s like you say no and stop it, but the child doesn’t really respond to what you’re saying.

Like where are the consequences for not obeying these instructions?

At least this is what I would be telling myself as I smirked and carried on with whatever I was doing. 

That brings us to now.

After waiting about two years we began our odyssey into trying to have our first child.

From 2006 to 2015 we went ahead and had four children.

Currently, their ages range from 18 to 9.

What my wife and I have discovered is those early days of judgement have been replaced with feeling like we are the ones that were and continue to be judged.

So, you might be asking: How have I handled things after using no and stop it?

Well, about like you would imagine. Meaning I say the words and sometimes every so often they generate the action being requested – lol! 

What you find out going through the whole parenthood journey is it is way more difficult than anyone can pretend to tell you.

Yes, it is extremely rewarding, but easy it is not.

Another lesson you learn the moment you bring just one child home is this – your life will NEVER be boring again.

As I close out column No. 4 I go back to how I began with the question first asked at the very beginning of it, which is “How Did We Get Here?”

The answer is I am not quite sure, but I look around at the faces of all these children my wife brought into this world and I do feel blessed but confused as to how it all went by so quickly.