Competency, integrity key in will executors

Dear Dave,

I’ve always heard that you shouldn’t ask a family member to be the executor of your will. What are your feelings about this?

— Joyce

Dear Joyce,

I don’t necessarily agree with this line of thinking. In my mind, a family member who is competent and has integrity can definitely be the executor. “Executor” just means they execute, thus the name. They’re going to execute the wishes of the will. If the family member has the business acumen and trustworthiness to execute the wishes and directives in a will, then that’s perfectly fine.

Just remember to use some common sense, too, when choosing an executor. If you have an extremely complicated estate, say 80 pieces of real estate with investments and everything, you probably don’t want your 22-year-old niece, nephew or grandchild who just graduated college in charge of things. I would advise choosing someone with a little more life experience, and maybe some success in the real world.

The people who say family shouldn’t do this are the same ones who say you shouldn’t have family in your business. You can have family in both. You just have to have good boundaries, clear roles, and honest, mature people. Make sure you give clear instructions and explanations for your decisions, too. Sit down with your family, explain who the executor’s going to be, and why, along with what the will says. It’s also not a bad idea to have an initial reading of the will while you’re still alive. This communicates your wishes personally and takes some of the pressure off of the executor.

— Dave

Mixing the Money

Dear Dave,

I’m getting married this summer, and I’m on Baby Step 4 of your plan while starting to invest for the first time. My fiance is getting onboard with your advice, and he’s currently in the process of paying down his student loan. Should I put my emergency fund money, minus $1,000, toward his student loan debt?

— Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I’m really proud of you guys, too, for your mature behavior where money is concerned.

First, don’t pay anything of his until after the wedding and you two are home from your honeymoon. At that point, “mine” and “his” becomes “ours,” and you can realign your money situation to reflect your total money makeover as a couple. Make sure that “we” have an emergency fund of at least $1,000 in the bank at that point. Then, if you like, you can throw the rest of what you previously had in your emergency fund at the debt.

You can both also pile up cash between now and the big day, so that after you two are official you’ll have even more cash on

hand. Who knows, you might be able to knock out that student loan completely and begin your life together debt-free. That would be awesome!

— Dave

Can I Negotiate?

Dear Dave,

I’ve had a judgment filed against me for an old, unpaid medical bill. The original amount was $2,500, but now it has increased to $3,200. Can I negotiate this with the lawyer? I’ve asked him for a detailed statement of the account several times, but all I’ve gotten is a payment booklet?

— Bill

Dear Bill,

When it comes to paying off bills or debt, you should always pay what’s owed if you have the money.

There’s a moral, as well as legal, responsibility involved. That being said, if you don’t have $3,200, offer him whatever you’ve got — $2,000 or the original $2,500 as a settlement. Make sure he understands that you’re not offering to pay the amount you have on the debt, but that it’s being offered as settlement in full if the debt is cleared.

The reason you haven’t gotten what you’ve asked for so far is you may have been talking to some low-level staffer or paralegal. If you have been talking directly to the lawyer, then he’s probably running a small debt collections or debt lawsuit machine. To him, you’re just another account. You might have to do something to get his attention and wake him up.

If this is the case, he probably gets a piece of whatever he collects. So, if he gets a third of $2,000 or $2,500 it might make his house payment this month. You could also talk to the hospital administrator, too, and let them know you’ll bring a couple thousand down there today if they’ll accept it as payment in full. At this point, you’ve just got to do something to get off the conveyor belt!

— Dave

Competency, integrity key in will executors